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A cataclysmic, ruinous decision

Breaking news states that Roe v. Wade was just overturned. I understand the opposition to abortion, I truly do. It is based on possibility and emotion.

I've experienced heartbreak at the unexpected and devastating end of a possibility in my life, and I know at least one in four pregnant people have right along with me. I've heard many people say that the topics of pregnancy loss and abortion have nothing to do with each other, but they do. They have everything to do with each other. When I was 38 weeks pregnant, I found out at a routine appointment that our expected baby son, Holden's, heart had stopped beating. I would have to give birth to death. I had the choice of an elective c-section or delivering him naturally. I labored with my son and gave birth as my last chance to mother him the way I had planned. My family still mourns this loss and wonders what he would be.

In recent years, women like me have been likened to farm animals in that when a stillbirth is to occur, farm animals must allow nature to take its course and wait for the body to expel the dead fetus. This was brought up as an argument against abortion. Why? Because when a fetus's heart is found to have stopped in a human, it must come out. Allowing "nature to take its course" can be extremely dangerous, possibly preventing further pregnancies, or even causing infection and eventually death. The body doesn't always do what it is supposed to do, or so many pregnancies wouldn't end in loss.

Since my son's death, I've met many parents who have suffered similarly. I've met many who have very different stories from me, but we all have one thing in common: the death of a possibility. We will never know what our children could be or what they'd look like, never see first steps or hear first words, never see school plays, graduations, weddings, or grandchildren. So many of them had to rely on abortion in the first or second trimester in order to end a non-viable pregnancy. These are miscarriages, missed miscarriages, fatal defects, and ectopic pregnancies. People can DIE without abortion.

Beyond the necessity of abortion for parents suffering a loss, access to abortion must be a right. Autonomy over our bodies is vital to the human condition. Any argument against abortion is not based on science and medical knowledge. Laws are already in place to prevent elective abortion after pregnancy viability when medical science has shown that a fetus can survive outside the womb (oftentimes with much intervention) and at the point when a fetus develops regular brain activity. These laws already exist, so the argument that people want to kill babies right up until (and after) birth is not founded. I know I won't convince anyone who has deeply held beliefs of much with this post. I just hope to provide a little insight into the necessity of abortion. Please try to put yourself in the shoes of another. Maybe it's someone with an abusive partner who will be tied to an abuser forever. Maybe it's someone who was raped. Maye it's someone who would have to drop out of college. Maybe it's someone who is too young to safely carry a child. Maybe it's someone who has just learned that all her hopes and dreams for a child are now gone and now choices must be made. These things shouldn't be legislated.

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